You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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