i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
