butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
