you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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