okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize