That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
