Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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