so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
