I think I died a long time ago.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Vodka?
Forever.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
