When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
