I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
