I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
