About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
