I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
