i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize