She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
