so explain again why im purple
no
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
