I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
