just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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