just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
