I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
