It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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