i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
