yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
