I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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