First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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