Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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