If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
