How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize