She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
