you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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