You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
