yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
