I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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