I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
