Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
