My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
