If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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