Kiss
Puke
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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