It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had to cum in my sink.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
