They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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