Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
