call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wear drunk well.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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