evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Found the puke drawer
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
