So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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