peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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