Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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