I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
