Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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