Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

(503): View more from Oregon

Succeeded.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand

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(818): View more from California

I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me

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(404): View more from Georgia

YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!

(678): View more from Georgia

correction: escorted out

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(914): View more from New York

Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

dude. I can hear the air.

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