Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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