i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
