Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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