Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
