Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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