I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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