he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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