I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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