Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
