Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
