I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
