Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
