i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
